Lingers

He lingers in the night

He lingers in the night

Everything will be all right

He scoffs in spite

He ponders what to do next

This man knows no boundaries

He lingers in the night

He lingers in the night

Separated between the window glass

He’s tapping at the glass

Scratching his nails across

He’s waiting for a chance to see her

Fighting to keep her

He’s been thinking of her

all day

He lingers in the night

He lingers in the night

He’s been waiting for hours

She’s been asleep for hours

Comfortable and unaware

She’s tugging at the sheets

He lingers in the night

He lingers in the night

This relationship was a cruel awakening

The window is breaking

muffled screams

Loud sex groundbreaking

Bruised

Blood

Break

He lingers in the night

He lingers in the night

 

 

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Lackluster Feelings

I’m slowly getting back into writing.  Here’s something I came up with while just opening my journal. I’m going to try to write more in my journal. I don’t have much to share to my blog because I’ve been uninspired. Here’s a shitty poem I wrote.  Thanks for reading! xoxo


Instead of your hand down my pants

Could you have traced your fingers up my arm to my hand?

Hold me in place

Take my place

Hold this moment

Picture this moment

Hope for a warm embrace

Missing you is like missing an old friend

There’s nothing to mend

But there’s so much that’s unsaid

Break me open

The emotions that we never share

The feelings aren’t mutual

Lustful actions

Stuck in a negative space

There’s nothing to replace

I’m stuck with lackluster feelings

Falling

I’m so tired of my emotions lately.  I really wish I could just shut off my mind so I wouldn’t think so much. Does anyone else feel that way? I’m so frustrated. I want to be noticed for who I am and not to be used by someone. My whole life I’ve been used by other people. I care too much so now I’m stuck with this overwhelming feeling of anxious knots  in my stomach. I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away.


I fell into your life

Now you’re falling head first into mine

And I’m unsure if I want that

You’re falling head first

I’m clinging onto my old life

Without you

Cold

The amber lights made me feel calm

I never felt so indifferent

I never felt so exhausted

Cold rooms and cold stares

Cold hearts and cold lives

 

Please don’t touch me

I think if you do I’ll break

I want to break these walls

That looked just like a prison

Not a home –

For people with confused minds and lives

1/9/17 Strangers

She falls in love with strangers

She feels lost and vulnerable

As her coping mechanisms try to catch up to her

Older men and women take advantage

But what did you expect?

She falls in love with strangers

Strangers aren’t scary if they mind their own

 

She feels lost and broken but she’s none of those things

She’s strong –  just sometimes too hard

For her own good

She falls in love with strangers

Strangers with beautiful

Smiles

lies

eyes

Half

I’ve only felt half of myself,

When I would be held by a boy who hid his intentions in his eyes.

Only half of himself

Only half of myself

Only have of myself never considered,

That a man was my only choice.

 

Years have passed and I’m 75% of myself

Only learning that I don’t need a person

To be whole

I’ve been kissed by a lost girl

Who hid behind botched poetry

And a false smile

I’m 85%

I’m still learning

100% is unrealistic

Perfection is a myth

Something Visceral

It seems that in the spring

My lungs are filled with fresh air

My mind is clearer than the years before

 

Winter is bitter and unkind

Seasonal depression lingers

At the back of my mind

Is there something blooming?

Something visceral and deafening

 

I’ve never paid attention to the seasons

Besides the falling of the autumn leaves

The spring is so peaceful and calming

Which has bypassed me for years

This spring I am without scars or regrets

 

I am thankful