Falling

I’m so tired of my emotions lately.  I really wish I could just shut off my mind so I wouldn’t think so much. Does anyone else feel that way? I’m so frustrated. I want to be noticed for who I am and not to be used by someone. My whole life I’ve been used by other people. I care too much so now I’m stuck with this overwhelming feeling of anxious knots  in my stomach. I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away.


I fell into your life

Now you’re falling head first into mine

And I’m unsure if I want that

You’re falling head first

I’m clinging onto my old life

Without you

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Cold

The amber lights made me feel calm

I never felt so indifferent

I never felt so exhausted

Cold rooms and cold stares

Cold hearts and cold lives

 

Please don’t touch me

I think if you do I’ll break

I want to break these walls

That looked just like a prison

Not a home –

For people with confused minds and lives

Something Visceral

It seems that in the spring

My lungs are filled with fresh air

My mind is clearer than the years before

 

Winter is bitter and unkind

Seasonal depression lingers

At the back of my mind

Is there something blooming?

Something visceral and deafening

 

I’ve never paid attention to the seasons

Besides the falling of the autumn leaves

The spring is so peaceful and calming

Which has bypassed me for years

This spring I am without scars or regrets

 

I am thankful