Falling

I’m so tired of my emotions lately.  I really wish I could just shut off my mind so I wouldn’t think so much. Does anyone else feel that way? I’m so frustrated. I want to be noticed for who I am and not to be used by someone. My whole life I’ve been used by other people. I care too much so now I’m stuck with this overwhelming feeling of anxious knots  in my stomach. I hate this feeling and I just want it to go away.


I fell into your life

Now you’re falling head first into mine

And I’m unsure if I want that

You’re falling head first

I’m clinging onto my old life

Without you

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Half

I’ve only felt half of myself,

When I would be held by a boy who hid his intentions in his eyes.

Only half of himself

Only half of myself

Only have of myself never considered,

That a man was my only choice.

 

Years have passed and I’m 75% of myself

Only learning that I don’t need a person

To be whole

I’ve been kissed by a lost girl

Who hid behind botched poetry

And a false smile

I’m 85%

I’m still learning

100% is unrealistic

Perfection is a myth

Something Visceral

It seems that in the spring

My lungs are filled with fresh air

My mind is clearer than the years before

 

Winter is bitter and unkind

Seasonal depression lingers

At the back of my mind

Is there something blooming?

Something visceral and deafening

 

I’ve never paid attention to the seasons

Besides the falling of the autumn leaves

The spring is so peaceful and calming

Which has bypassed me for years

This spring I am without scars or regrets

 

I am thankful