Here are a few photos that I didn’t like at first, but then discovered I like how they turned out. I was experimenting with light I guess. These are a year old at least. I like how dark the second picture is. I guess you could say it’s a shitty photo but I like how it turned out.
I’m slowly getting back into writing. Here’s something I came up with while just opening my journal. I’m going to try to write more in my journal. I don’t have much to share to my blog because I’ve been uninspired. Here’s a shitty poem I wrote. Thanks for reading! xoxo
Instead of your hand down my pants
Could you have traced your fingers up my arm to my hand?
Hold me in place
Take my place
Hold this moment
Picture this moment
Hope for a warm embrace
Missing you is like missing an old friend
There’s nothing to mend
But there’s so much that’s unsaid
Break me open
The emotions that we never share
The feelings aren’t mutual
Stuck in a negative space
There’s nothing to replace
I’m stuck with lackluster feelings
Happy Halloween everyone!
Today I decided on doing a blown out red smokey eye for Halloween. I enjoy doing red eye shadow looks but this is to an extreme!
Maybelline Fit Me Foundation – 102 Fair Ivory
Light Pink eyeshadow
Sugarpill Love+ eyeshadow
Tartiest Pro Palette – Mod
Wet N Wild Purple eyeshadow
Wet N Wild Panther Eyeshadow (Black)
Impulse Cosmetics lipstick – Apocalyptic
NYX Born to Glow Illuminator – Beam (On face and on center of eyelids)
I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween! What did you go as this Halloween? I’d love to know!
The other day I went with my film camera (Minolta Maxxum 7000) to the lake and I was just planning on taking photos. That quickly changed as I started to walk around in my barefeet across the sand. It was such a nice place to take photos! I later went back with my swimsuit to swim. I’ll share a few of my favorite photos.
I’m still learning how to take good pictures with my film or my digital camera. I brought my film camera instead of my digitial because I wanted to experiment with the film camera some more. Photography is so fun and entertaining to me. I’m hoping in October my best friend models for me! Anyway here’s the photos:
Thank you for reading!
Today I enjoyed how my makeup turned out so I decided I’d take photos and make a blog post about it. I thought I might start uploading specific looks so I remember how to recreate them, or for the hopes that someone would like to try the look themselves!
Milani Eyeshadow Primer
As a base I used ColourPop eyeshadow in Girl Power
Tarte Grav3yard Girl Swamp Queen Palette – Big Baby, Natural Peaches, and Dogman.
Eyeliner – NYX Vivid Brights in Vivid Fire
(Pictured above) NYX Lip lingerie in Embellishment
I hope this was helpful and I hope it could spark some inspiration! Some might think red eyeliner is too flashy but I thought it would look so cool with the shadow! I’m happy with the way it turned out. I think it would be easy to recreate this look because all you need is a good burnt orange shade and a light peach transitional shade!
Thanks for reading!
I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar affective disorder.
This was written when I relapsed some time ago. I thought I’d share.
I’m proud to say I’m officially done with this part of my life. I will never need to break disposable razors for the blades. I don’t miss having to hide my body and I don’t miss the scars and I don’t miss the way it calmed me. I really want everyone to know that cutting is something that will become an addiction once you start. At least that was my experience and I don’t wish it upon anyone. I remember sitting on the bathroom floor the day I cut myself too deep and it really had me questioning what the fuck I was doing. Why harm yourself when everyone else tries to harm you too? This world is full of people who want to hurt you and why hurt yourself even more? I don’t miss cutting myself. I remember when I did though. Self – harm is still an issue and it starts at a young age. People don’t stop cutting until they scare themselves by cutting too deep. Well, I can’t say that for a fact but that’s the way it happened for me. Also, being disagnosed as being bipolar makes a whole lot of sense to why I wanted to harm myself.
“Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was, told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil and he loved me back.” – Secretary
Self- hatred is so comfortable to me and it has never gone away.
I’ve found hope in bood and razor blades
I’ve found beauty in cuts and bandages
Bleeding has been the easiest part of life
Bruises on my heart can show for it
I’ve been stuck in an anxious state for a while now but I decided to take some pictures to try to help me feel better. This pond is behind my house and I never thought to take photos of it until yesterday.
Here are a few of my favorites: